Lately I have been facing a wall of darkness on my journey with Christ, my job, and just in general with my life. I was reading an authors take on Paul’s physical blindness that happened while on the road to Damascus. He said that it represented the spiritual blindness that he was in.
Paul was walking around living life, thinking he was serving God. Yet, at the same time he was killing off the Church. What a paradigm shift for Paul when Jesus shows up and asks what he is doing?
I feel like I might be going through some transition like that right now. Jesus is asking me what I’m doing. Am I building up my resume like Paul had? Or am I walking towards the cross in kingdom living? Meaning; dying to live, giving to gain, becoming weak so God can show strong.
I’ve been struggling so much recently with not knowing what the heck is going on with my life and desires in life. They seem to have left me for some reason. I’ve spent so much of my own energy and thought into why this is happening and trying to figure out what is going on. I’m then reminded by this quote:
“As we’ve discussed before, our problem with much of God’s reality is that God seems to be more interested in our process than in our arrival (hence our process of transformation). Likewise, God is often more interested in us knowing a little and trusting a lot than in us knowing a lot and having to trust him only a little.” – Strobel, Metamorpha
I call that a spiritual kick in the pants.
peace,
-A
November 17, 2007 at 9:05 pm |
… great quote at the end.
i believe we all go thru our own times & seasons … mountain top experiences, & then valley experiences.
but they are all just as relative in perspective … thanks for reminding us that life sometimes just happens & we are just there with it …
November 23, 2007 at 1:49 am |
adam, thanks for the transparency into your life… I think I find myself resonating with your situation. quite frustrating at times… dang humility.
March 19, 2008 at 2:20 pm |
A -
I googled “spiritual darkness” and your site popped up. (I’ve recently started blogging myself.) One question: How’s your prayer life? I’m asking because I went through a similar “season” a couple of years ago, and the Lord pointed out that I hadn’t really been talking … or listening… to Him very much. Over the next month or so I began to pray Psalm 51.7-15 daily for myself. In the Message V. 12 reads, “…put fresh wind in my sails…” Over a period of time, the Lord truly answered. I’m happy to report that I have grown tremendously since, with the direction and purpose of my life being clearer than ever.